EP006 - Who is Nat? CBT, Hogwarts boarding school, Cuba, Corporate life, burnout, getting married! (SPECIAL Part 2 of 3)

We zoom in on Nat, his life, career and what makes him tick, before gently interrogating him with some 'rapid-fire' questions. This is part two of a three-part special.

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Transcript

EP006 – Nat Chat (SPECIAL Part 2 of 3)

Nat: [00:00:00] about 18 months ago. I guess you could call it a burnout. I just felt shattered. I just had some physical stuff going on that just wasn't I could just tell something's not right here. I was massive lack of energy. I mean sometimes I was having to go to bed at 8 o'clock at night. Just, just completely had no energy.

Nat: I thought I had allergies. I thought I had any number of different issues. I kept going to the doctor and the reality was it was just the The stress from the job the quick pace of life…

Chris: Hey, it's Chris here from Adventure Solos where we help people in their 30s, to rediscover themselves and meet new people. This episode is episode two of a three part special. In this second part, we speak to Nat about his childhood at boarding school, a year [00:01:00] living in Cuba, and why he's currently travelling in Thailand following a near burnout in his professional career.

Chris: Oh, and before we forget, please also consider supporting us with a monthly pledge over on Patreon. You can find the details of that in the show notes below. And remember, if you'd like to find out more about Adventure Solos events, visit AdventureSolos.com. That's AdventureSolos.com. where you're very welcome to stay in touch by joining the mailing list.

Chris: So adventuresolos. com and enter your details to sign up to the mailing 

Nat: list.

Nat: Yeah, I suppose I could talk a little bit about who I am. I always like to hear people's life stories in, you know, two or three minutes, just to tell, you know, where they come from, who they are. So I guess I could. Do you want, do you want me to ask [00:02:00] questions? No, I think I'll just monologue. I'll monologue, and then if you've got questions, then fire away.

Nat: But I had to think about this this afternoon, because I, I always, I always want to hear this from other people. I want to know who someone is. I kind of, maybe it was my impatience. I want to know who someone is within two minutes, and what makes them tick. So I thought, right, well, 

Chris: Now, can I jump in actually that you've just raised a really good point, which comes back to the adventure solo stuff and when people meet, when you meet someone, I hate the question, what do you do?

Chris: And that's quite often never even phrased as what do you do for work? It's just what do you do? And sometimes I'm just a pain in the ass. I'm like, Oh, well, I do this and I do that and I do that. But I, I don't like it that we define each other. Okay. I know it's just a small talk conversation starter, but we define each other by what you do.

Chris: do for work or for money. And I love that about our events [00:03:00] is that question just quite often doesn't come up or doesn't come up till day two or three and something. But yeah, sorry. 

Nat: Totally agree. And I think it's pervasive in Western culture. If I can say that is that we are quite obsessed with Status and what we do for jobs and you know, I'll ask it to people cringe my cringe when I've asked us what you do, but it is just a conversation starter, but I remember when I spoke to my my Therapist cognitive behavioral therapist and she said not we're we're human beings not human doings And it's something I've struggled with my whole life is defining myself by what I do Which is not It's not really the reality, and actually, you know, I've done a lot of traveling, and when you meet other people from other cultures, it's far less of interest about what they're, what they do and what the status is and that type of stuff.

Nat: So go on, I 

Chris: interrupted. So tell us about you as a human 

Nat: [00:04:00] being. Human being? Well, ironically, some of this would be, be doing. But anyway, yeah, so I was born in North London. So people can never place my accent. And I lived in London till I was about 11. And then I moved up to Scotland with my mum.

Nat: Unfortunately, she's got a bipolar disorder and my parents split up when I was about four. I went to live in South London. When I was, when I was about four my dad remarried and my step mum had two kids, my step brother and step sister Luke and Libby, who I have a very good relationship with and you know, lucky to, to have them all in my life.

Nat: I went to live with my mum in Scotland when I was about 11 and she lived on the west coast of Scotland in a, town called Oban. And unfortunately I went to stay with her and I was due to go, so I did actually start a [00:05:00] primary school in in Oban and then she had a bipolar episode and ended up pretty much dropping me off at a posh boarding school.

Nat: in rural Persia called Glenarmond, which is pretty much like, if you could imagine, Hogwarts, but in the middle of sort of rolling Scottish countryside with nothing around you for kilometres upon kilometres. And I lived there from 11 till 17 which was, you know, a total experience in itself and quite, probably quite formative in good and bad.

Nat: And something that was completely unexpected at the time. So I think I became pretty independent because of that, that upbringing, if you like. With my parents splitting up and then and then ending up going to a boarding school where parents aren't around. So. That was my childhood. Well, 

Chris: I don't, [00:06:00] you know what?

Chris: I mean, I must have known that about you, but that's not something that springs to mind. Because I was at boarding school from age about 12 to 18 as well. 

Nat: Yeah, I think that's probably another thing. I think I knew that. I think it's another thing we have in boarding schools, in a nutshell, my experience, let me talk about my experience because that's really probably all I'm qualified to talk about is fantastic opportunity.

Nat: I mean, when I talk to other people about their schooling, I was so lucky with the education I got with the facilities that this school had were unbelievable. I mean, I came from a Primary school in London where we played football and cricket on a, just a concrete pitch. And then I ended up at this school where it had a golf course and a swimming pool.

Nat: And underneath the swimming pool, there was a shooting range. And there was a, the person, apparently the person who invented the dry ski slope. Went to the school, and so we had a little dry ski slope. I mean, it was [00:07:00] just, it blew my mind. But at the same time, I was like a fish out of water. I, you know, all I'd done was sort of go to primary school, and played football, and played cricket, and just Pretty much spent all my spare time down the park playing with my friends and then found myself in this kind of Hogwarts environment 

Chris: Was it was it mixed sex though?

Chris: Was it just 

Nat: boys? It was mixed sex started off, but I think I think I was the first year it went to mixed sex You know, thank God, because I think I'd heard heard it was a lot more, can I say, severe in, in many ways. I mean, it wasn't that long before I got there that they used to have younger kids used to sit on the toilet seats to warm the toilet seats for the older kids.

Nat: Crazy stuff like that. Roald Dahl 

Chris: tells that story in, in Boy, but yeah, that stuff isn't so far fetched from some of the stuff that went down when I was yeah, 

Nat: at school. [00:08:00] We still had things called fizzes. So fizzes were like when you talked out of turn to a older boy um, they could get you to come to their room at seven in the morning and they'd give you a fizz, which was a physical, but it wasn't necessarily physical, but what it was was you'd have to run to somewhere and write down the cricket team from 1901, I'm serious, and then run back to his room and then he'd give you another test and you'd do that for half an hour.

Nat: I mean, it was, looking back, it's just. Completely bizarre. 

Chris: I wonder that. So, I mean, I left boarding school in 2001, I think, so 22 years ago, something like that now. And the stuff that went on when we were there, I just wonder what it's like now, because I still think these places are their own worlds and live in a little, almost, bubble and a niche.

Chris: And I loved it. I really enjoyed it. But I think things must have changed so much in that 20 years, because I mean, okay, there's mobile phones, but [00:09:00] it just can't be the same. No, 

Nat: hopefully, I think at that time, it was certainly in a transition period, so I'm pretty certain that the transition will have continued for the better in respects of, you know, Well, Saskia, my fiancée, she's a primary school teacher and she always talks about, in the primary school now, they talk about nurture.

Nat: And that was probably what was lacking at boarding school at that time. My experience was nurture was basically lacking. You know, you were told to do your homework, do your sports, make sure that you did well for your boarding house. But no one really ever asked you, how are you doing? How are you feeling?

Nat: You haven't, you know, you haven't seen your parents for three weeks. How are you feeling about that? No one ever asked you anything like that. And I do think there's this sort of British stiff, stiff upper lip thing that existed, which is hopefully on its way out. Although I'm [00:10:00] sure it still exists to some extent or has an influence where people are.

Nat: You know, I guess. It's hard to break out of that cycle because people don't really talk about their emotions. It gets better maybe with every generation and hopefully it will continue to improve. Here's a cheeky 

Chris: question for you then. You said your mum sort of almost just dropped you off and so it was a bit unexpected and I guess the financial side was something she or your parents couldn't manage then.

Nat: Yeah, that's a great question. I knew there was a reason you're on these podcasts. 

Chris: Thank you. Thanks for inviting me. 

Nat: Well done. I I was lucky because my grandma on my father's side, I'm pretty sure this is what happened, was able to pay for the first, the first. Term, I think it was, so that would have been a few months.

Nat: beCause my mum certainly had no way of paying it, and I don't know what the school never would have done a credit check or anything. So I don't know what would have [00:11:00] happened, like, you know, we got to the end. I would have been turfed out, but luckily, my My grandma steps in she paid for the first three months I think and then I think I got I think it was something like a 90 percent grant from the government.

Nat: I mean, this was the Labour government I think it was those at the Tony Blair Labour 

Chris: government Oh, it's this Tony Blair education education education. They came in in 97, I think but they 

Nat: faded out which I don't blame them for at all I mean, it's a bit of a mad system that That kids can go to a private school and just get paid for by the state.

Nat: But that's what happened to me, effectively. I went to a private school, but it was, I think it was 90 percent paid for by the state. So, I was incredibly lucky. I got an absolutely amazing education. But then, I didn't have to, you know, my parents. As far as I'm aware, I didn't have to pay for, you know, certainly didn't have to pay for all of it.

Nat: So yeah, that's how, that's how it was [00:12:00] funded. 

Chris: Was it kind of a scholarship thing, or when you say grant, is that more a sort of life situation? Do you know? 

Nat: I don't know much more than I've said. There, I, I think, I think it was a life situation. I think it was. I'm assuming the school could just apply. I must, I think there's more of them now.

Nat: Sorry, maybe it's a different system now, but I think they've, they're basically probably right to the government and say, look, we've got this child, blah, blah, here's a situation. Can you get, can we get a grant to pay for that? I don't know, to be honest. No, no, that's cool. Thank you. Continue my monologue.

Nat: I did that for my, that was my Childhood summarised, and then after that I ended up going to Cuba for a year, living in Cuba, which was 

Chris: How did you feel, like, maybe in a sentence or two? How, did you enjoy boarding school or not, or do you have mixed 

feelings? 

Nat: Did I enjoy boarding school? Mixed feelings.

Nat: I found it very tough to start with. I think I [00:13:00] was totally lost. Didn't really understand what I was doing there. I started to go off the rails. So I went there when I was 11 or 12. And by 14, instead of going to rugby, which I'd never played before, but instead of going to rugby and other sporting afternoons that you were meant to do, it's a huge focus on sports.

Nat: I met one particular kid who lived quite close to school and we used to just go drinking every afternoon. Well, not every afternoon, but frequently, at 14. And I remember, I remember one time, I remember one time I went, it was probably the first time I got really drunk. We went to his house and he had his dad had a cabinet of alcohol.

Nat: So being the smart kids that we were, we picked out the gin and we thought, well, we'll just Pour the gin in the glasses and refill the gin bottle with [00:14:00] water. So we did this, but being not so smart kids, we didn't have a clue how much we were meant to drink. Not a clue. And of course, it was before the internet, so you couldn't just Google, How much should I drink?

Nat: So we've just poured Best part of You know, 300 milliliters, 200 milliliters of gin into a glass, and then filled the rest with orange juice, big pints. And then we just drunk these. And oh my god. You know where the expression legless comes from? Absolutely legless. So then, In the evening you had to do homework.

Nat: So you had to go back to the school and sit in a room with an older boy who was meant to keep an eye on you, make sure you weren't chatting until you did your homework. So I've literally legless walked across all the rugby fields to get back to this room. I think I was probably throwing up, to be honest.

Nat: Get into this room. And one of the other things was, [00:15:00] part of them looking after you is make sure that they knew what you, that you'd been to have your dinner. So, and I knew this in the back of my head, I didn't want to get caught, because that would be big trouble. So I was stinking of booze. Friends told me this afterwards.

Nat: And then I would just, I said to my friend at the time, Ollie, I said to him, Ollie, what was for dinner? So I knew if the teacher came and said what was for dinner, I'd have a cover story. And he said burger and chips. So it was definitely burger and chips. He said burger and chips. So I just apparently sat there going, Burger and chips.

Nat: Burger and chips. Burger and chips. Just on repeat. Drunk. In case the teacher turned up. So I'd know, oh, it was burger and chips, I went to dinner, don't worry about me, sir. So anyway, I got away with it. My housemaster was, uh, he was a good guy. He, you know, he didn't want to get you into trouble [00:16:00] unnecessarily.

Nat: Kind of the week after, or a couple of weeks after, he took me into his room. And he was very The conversation, as I said, the conversations weren't sit down, tell me what's going on with you, blah, blah, they were just kind of very to the point, stop doing that, you'll get yourself in trouble, you know, that blah, blah, and then actually had probably one of the most important conversations I had in my life.

Nat: I went home to my dad in London, and I remember going to the Richmond Park with my step mum, and she said to me, you know, you're there, you might as well just try and make the most of it. And just don't, you know, just do what you can. And it really worked, that conversation really worked and everything.

Nat: Ever since that conversation had turned a corner and from probably about the age of 14, maybe a couple of months after that drinking episode, I just knuckled [00:17:00] down and I just thought, look, I'm here. I've got this wonderful opportunity, knuckled down and I just became a straight A student after that. I mean, the intelligence was Was, was fortunately always there, I think, but I definitely didn't have the application for a long time and then sort of found it in, yeah, 14 to 17, just knuckled down.

Chris: You had moved on to Cuba then, I think, before I interrupted 

Nat: again. Took a gap year, as it was still called, I think which was trendy at the time. And there was a charity, uh, based on the Isle of Col on, in the Hebrides, in the Western Isles of Scotland, that sent people all around the world. And so, I signed up with this, and I wanted to learn Spanish, so I said, I want to learn Spanish, and they said, Okay, they gave you an assignment, so they sent me to Cuba.

Nat: So yeah, I went and spent a year in Cuba. That was completely a mad experience. I mean, just one [00:18:00] anecdote from that. That will probably help set the scene. I turned up on on the first day. I'd flown in, this kind of communist guy had picked me up from the airport and drove me two hours to Matanzas University, which is two hours east of Havana.

Nat: And I woke up the next morning and come to the room and he said, oh, you've got a, you've got a lesson in two hours time. I thought, bloody hell, I'm jet lagged. I thought I'd at least get a day off here. So we've got a I said, what am I going to teach? He said, oh, you're teaching English. Written English.

Nat: Right, have you got any guide books textbooks? No, no, no, I think we've got some, but not for today. So right, okay, well what have I got? Oh, I've got the papers that I'd taken from the plane, which was things like the daily, it was like the mirror, the sun, like the tabloid papers that I would have been reading at 17.

Nat: So I remember going [00:19:00] into the classroom, 17, and this is an old communist style block, concrete construction. There's 40 kids, well, I say kids, all of them are older than me, so all of them are 17, probably 18 to 22, 23. They're from all over the world, Vietnam, Angola, other bits of Africa, and lots of Cuban students.

Nat: I didn't have a clue what I was doing. All I did was say, okay, here's a picture. Here's a story about Posh and Bex and I just read from the paper for about an hour and a half and got them to dictate stuff down and luckily I think they were just so, I don't know, they were intrigued to have someone new in the classroom that they kind of did, did did what I said for the first lesson, but it kind of, I was going to say it went downhill.

Nat: It didn't really go downhill. It's just you, as time went on, you realized how much. Tough teaching can be to what you would probably call a [00:20:00] composite group of 40 students with completely varying Degrees of English, which is very difficult as any teacher will tell you So anyway, that was a whole experience in Cuba For a year which was like something I felt like that's gonna completely cut out Cut out, you know, like a period of your life, which just stands alone.

Nat: It's like stuck in the past. You get on a plane, go there and come back. And then I went to Edinburgh University for five years, studied law. TYpical, I guess, probably quite a typical experience of university, drank too much didn't study that much. I could get by I could get by because I was relatively intelligent just doing a sort of self study really.

Nat: I didn't really go to that many lectures. I sort of started enjoying it more towards the last. Year where it was more practical. Became a trainee solicitor in Edinburgh. [00:21:00] Again, didn't have a clue what I was doing. I remember the first six months, rabbit in the head, like, stuff. I think the people working at that law firm thinking, how the hell is this, like, what was this guy doing for five years?

Nat: How has he got into our office? But I managed, I figured it out by the end. Within two years, I'd figured it out and I was It was a bit more enjoyable. I was doing, I was actually a company secretary to about 200 film companies and quite enjoyed. Some of the interactions with these small film companies and did some fundraising for Some sort of early stage social media things and that was quite interesting and then 2008 crash financial crash happened I'd qualified There were pretty much hardly any jobs going in law lawyers were getting pretty much fired left right and center I ended up getting a job The consulting firm in Glasgow, just a small consulting firm that [00:22:00] we were talking about earlier, and that's how we met each other.

Nat: And then yeah, I did that for, did that in that firm for about six or, I think it was maybe eight years I was there. And then I ended up moving to the company. That's about right. And then I ended up working for the company I now consult to which is it's an American owned financial services company.

Nat: And I basically, basically my career, I became, I came out of law and became a very, very niche specialist in intellectual property valuation. Disposal. So selling databases, websites patents, technology, brands, valued big brands, and in particularly a niche within the space of insolvency. So you know, became well known within, certainly within the UK for that very, very.

Nat: I'd say to anyone actually, that's, it's probably quite a good way to go with a career because a [00:23:00] niche actually ends up being quite, quite good because they might, You might not be getting jobs from everyone all the time, but if they need, if they need a specific job done, they'll definitely come to you, because you might be the only person they know who does that, that type of thing.

Nat: So, I mean, that's, that's almost the end of the, the monologue, but I did that, so I did the, the professional services career, if I can say it like that, with the law and consulting. And I'm still doing that, but on a part time basis. So basically, about 18 months ago, I guess you, you could call it a burnout.

Nat: I just felt shattered. I just had some physical stuff going on that just wasn't I could just tell something's not right here. I was massive lack of energy. I mean sometimes I was having to go to bed at 8 o'clock at night. Just, just completely had no energy. I thought I had allergies. I thought I had any number of different [00:24:00] Issues kept going to the doctor and the reality was, it was just the stress from the job the quick pace of life and that, that stress of the job, by the way, is not, you know, it's not anyone else's fault or it's not a fault of anyone's or any job or any employer.

Nat: In my case, it was really down to me and how, because I was lucky enough to, to kind of create the team I worked with and create the way I worked, but I just couldn't find a way to do it that just didn't. stressed me out. So that's why I just, yeah, to get the balance, I just couldn't find it, unfortunately.

Nat: So, ended up stepping back from the fo 

Chris: Were you working long hours? 

Nat: Yes and no. It wasn't, you know, it's not the kind of job where I had to be in the office at six o'clock for markets opening or something and then, you know, stay until 12 at night. Absolutely not. It was generally, [00:25:00] Decent ish hours, you know, 8.

Nat: 30 to 6. 00 type thing. But the problem was, never turned off. Never turned off. So, I'd wake up at 7. 00, I'd be checking emails. So, did I start when I got to the office? Or was I started at 7. 00 when I turned on the emails? The last thing I'd do at night, 10. 30 before your head hit the pillow, was check the emails.

Nat: Have any clients emailed? I had an odd management position where I was Managing a lot of things, a lot of people, and a lot of projects. But, I was master of nothing but, sort of across everything, if that makes sense. I had to know a little bit about lots and lots and lots of different things, which actually, I kind of, upon upon reflection, it's so tiring.

Nat: You just need to, you need to just sort of feel as though you need to know everything, but in reality, you know nothing. I mean, my attention span became poor. Going from [00:26:00] being a lawyer, where I could write, Corporate governance documents for days on end. By the end of that, I struggled to sit down and read an email for ten minutes, because my brain was telling me, you need to check your other, you know, you need to check your other emails, because something else might have happened, you know.

Nat: What about them? They're meant to have completed on that deal. And what about the lawyer who's meant to respond to that thing on that NDA? Blah de blah de blah. So, yeah. So, that 

Chris: probably brings you on to why you're in Thailand, really. Or have we done that loop? 

Nat: Yeah, I think that brings us right back, which is now just taking some time out.

Nat: And and I think just to really close the circle, if you like, I've now de stressed, if you like. So that's been fantastic. You know, that happened actually relatively quickly within a few months, certainly the physical ailments. So, I mean, I'm quite passionate about this because I think there's lots of people who will be doing similar jobs or any other job that's [00:27:00] stressful or a stressful lifestyle.

Nat: And they might have physical ailments. I'm not, this isn't obviously medical advice, but my experience was a lot of those physical ailments were caused by stress. Very obvious once I got out of that lifestyle, I felt much, much better. Those physical ailments that I thought might have been caused by real physiological issues, they just disappeared.

Nat: So, you know, when people go to their doctor and the doctor says it might be stress, and they sort of come back from the doctor and say, Doctor's an idiot, they say it might be stress. Well It might be stress. It might be something else. So it's definitely obviously worth going and checking it out, but it's just to raise people's awareness that stress can actually cause, you know, there's a book The Body Keeps Score, all about this and how the mind and the body are joined and, and can cause, can cause real physical issues.

Chris: Well, yeah, glad that's, [00:28:00] that's sort of sorted for you. You, you, you, I guess looking forward as well, you've actually got something coming up next year. I love the blank face. I can't think 

Nat: what's, what's going, coming up. Oh, I'm getting married. I'm only doing that because Saskia will watch this back. Yeah, I'm getting married in July, um, on the Isle of Iona, which is a very special place for me and my family, my my Grandparents on my mum's side lived there for, for, for many years until they passed away.

Nat: And then we've got a house that we that we stay in a couple of months in the summer. So yeah, we're going and you're, you're coming, aren't you? 

Chris: Well, funny, I meant to talk to you about that actually. If you're running an event. I'm coming and yeah yeah, I'm, I'm all booked in and the stag do is a work in [00:29:00] progress as well.

Chris: Yeah, I'm 

Nat: out of that. 

Chris: But just getting there. And yeah, I feel like I've not had a stag do for quite a while actually, it has been some time so yeah. 

Nat: I've left it late, I think almost 40 now, so it's probably, probably time to, to, to, to move on. Yeah, thanks, Simon. 41 in single. Yeah, that was my hint.

Nat: Okay. 

Chris: So Nat, onto your rapid fire questions. Question number one, what personal achievement are you most proud of? 

Nat: Probably it's a project that I did when I was in my mid twenties, when I, uh, it's a bit of a long story, but I'll try and shorten it here. Effectively I worked with my auntie to renovate a house that she and my mom had.

Nat: inherited from my grandparents on the Isle of Iona. It was probably my biggest, felt like certainly my biggest personal achievement just [00:30:00] because it was a risk that I took. My aunt and my mum weren't quite sure what to do with the house and they didn't have a kind of solid plan as to how to take it forward.

Nat: And I just said, look my mum unfortunately, as I said before, she's bipolar. So she struggles with these things. So I said, look if I can pick things up, then I'll I'll invest a bunch of money. I took a loan from Tesco Bank at the time. And then a very good friend of mine, Stuart worked with a builder on Iona.

Nat: and renovated the house. I think I went up there sometime, something, I mean, it's a six hour journey from Glasgow and I went up something like 14, 15 times in a year to sort of oversee things, take furniture, blah, blah, blah. So it was a massive project. I think it was just such a big personal achievement because it was done so early in my life.

Nat: I think it was about 26 at the time and it felt like it was [00:31:00] going to rolling the dice a bit because I took out a loan and spent I think every penny I had pretty much and we renovated it and now it's run as a holiday let and I'm proud of that because it brings a lot of joy to people who come and stay in the house.

Nat: It brings joy to myself my aunt who goes there every year, my uncle and lots of people get to enjoy it and it's one of those things where you sort of don't have to do it. It's a bit of a kind of a vision and. You take it forward and, and execute and something. And that was pretty satisfying. 

Chris: That's beautiful.

Chris: We're going to have to work on the rapid fire part. Yeah, good. Good for you. Okay. Question number two, who has been the biggest influence on your personal 

Nat: philosophy? Probably I'll go for two here. One is more financial, so, and this will be quite a lot of people's probably in terms of financial, but Rich Dad, Poor Dad Robert Kiyokowski, I think the guy's name, and just really [00:32:00] teaches you about income producing assets and don't be a slave to the man and it teaches you a deeper sort of sense of understanding of the capitalist system and how, I think it's sort of how to game that system, if I can say, or at least don't be beholden to it or don't be a slave to it.

Nat: And then on a sort of, on another note, from a spiritual point of view, I wouldn't, I wouldn't say I'm a great spiritualist, but I read a book called The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer which teaches you about trying to realize that the voice in your head that everyone has isn't really you.

Nat: And I think he describes it as thinking of that voice in your head as your sort of annoying roommate or something. Anyway, it's really about anyone who's done meditation. We'll appreciate trying to have a view onto your own thoughts. And I thought that that was pretty powerful at the time.

Chris: What inspired [00:33:00] you to pursue your current career? What is your current 

Nat: career? Yeah, exactly. As I talked about earlier, my. Career was not typical. I was a lawyer and then I worked in professional services in a very niche industry and really built a couple of practices within other businesses. So it's relatively entrepreneurial.

Nat: What inspired me to pursue that career originally, I guess, I followed in my father's footsteps, as I said earlier, and then, to be honest, I fell into the niche industry that I ended up in and then made the most of the opportunity. But I think a broader question possibly for me is What inspired me to live the lifestyle that I have chosen now in terms of personal freedom and those books, books I mentioned earlier and other, other lots of people to be honest, lots of podcasts and [00:34:00] books and other influences in terms of sort of personal, personal financial freedom and yeah, that kind of mindset.

Chris: How do you handle stress and maintain a work life balance? I 

Nat: don't handle stress very well at all. That's why I had to take a step back from my career for a period of time. When I was in full time work, how did I handle stress? As I say, it just wasn't great because I ended up having kind of physical ailments and things like that.

Nat: I tended to try and take a step back. I did everything, to be honest, I did everything. I did it. I tried everything. I tried meditation you know, yoga, all the cliches. I found that for me, actually playing golf, I love golf and I've. That was probably the best. Anything that zones your brain out. So golf is actually great.

Nat: Despite what people might say. You're actually spending [00:35:00] about 4 hours, sometimes 5 hours, just outside trying to hit a stupid ball around a golf course. And that's kind of pretty much what you think about from nearly 95 percent of the time you're on a golf course. It's one of those sports, takes up a lot of time, but actually I quite like that because that kind of gets your brain into a different zone.

Nat: But anything, taking the dog for a walk, a lot of going into nature and just trying to think of, think of other things. It's sort of a distraction technique I probably would use. 

Chris: Can you recall a moment that changed the course of your life? 

Nat: Starting CBT, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, I think probably that was one for my personal life changed things a lot for the better.

Nat: I went to see a Cognitive Behavioural Therapist and I knew I had some hang ups about Various things and just, [00:36:00] just speaking to someone really helped made a huge difference. Just one example, I was the kind of person who struggled with kind of some friendships because I had a short short. I'm not, I wouldn't call it patience.

Nat: I just didn't, I dismiss people quite quickly. So if they made a mistake or, you know, just silly things, I'm not saying it's as petty as this, but let's just say some people be like, if someone doesn't text them back for a few weeks, then it's like, they're not a friend of mine. I can't be bothered with that.

Nat: They're too flaky. I would do sort of, as I say, not as extreme as that, but I would dismiss people for. quite frankly, stupid reasons. And I wasn't empathetic. That's what I learned. I learned to be empathetic. And so I, when I did CBT, I identified that I needed to be more empathetic to other people. And it made a huge difference.

Nat: I had a problem [00:37:00] in my romantic relationships, not being empathetic enough and not understanding other people well enough, not understanding myself well enough. And. I've managed to change that quite significantly, and so that has probably changed the course of my life. I've now met the love of my life.

Nat: We're getting married next year. And I don't, I think if I hadn't have been for CPT, I'm pretty certain that I wouldn't have been able to get into a place to, to do that. So, yeah, I'll go for that CPT advocate. 

Chris: Yeah, well done you, that growth mindset, isn't it? And much easier to say than to do. So yeah, really well done.

Chris: Where do you see your industry going in the next few years? 

Nat: Well, from a career work perspective I mentioned earlier that I [00:38:00] work in a niche industry where we value and sell intellectual property. And other asset classes through the business. I think there's been a trend within that industry for further regulation.

Nat: And that quite frankly is suited us to a certain extent because we can professionalize work within those regulations and we can basically create. Services that allow our clients to stay within future regulations. So that's quite a dry answer. Another another aspect of my work now, if you like, on my lifestyle, I think all of that is, I am a residential property investor been doing that for probably about 10 years or over 10 years now.

Nat: So that's obviously had a lot of Well, I don't know, obviously, maybe some people don't know, but it's had a lot of challenges being a property [00:39:00] investors had a lot of challenges over the last 10 years and continues to throw up challenges, especially in Scotland. There's been a lot of regulation, rent caps, taxation, et cetera.

Nat: Now, people's hearts aren't going to bleed for landlords. I understand that. But, I take it quite seriously in terms of the service. I see it as a service that's being provided to tenants. You know, you want to provide a good place for people to live. So I'm the kind of landlord that if the boiler breaks, you know, and it's, it's old, I want it replaced, you know.

Nat: As quickly as possible, the TV breaks. I want to replace. I want these things done quickly. So the tenants in a good position, but it's been lots of challenges in that space and interest rates going up. I mean, I'm a bit of a property, residential property geek, listen to later podcasts, read pretty much all the books on residential property investing.

Nat: There are, and so, yeah, I could go on all day about that, but I [00:40:00] won't because I think 90 percent of the audience, if not more, will be pretty bored by the answer. 

Chris: What's a controversial opinion you hold that you're willing to 

Nat: discuss? There are too many people in the world. That's my controversial opinion.

Nat: I don't know how controversial that is, but I think it will be to some people. There's just too many people. I mean, traveling around the world, it really brings it home. You see the devastation that's being brought. To the world, the environment, you know, the amount of plastic pollution there is it's just too many people.

Nat: I know that maybe we're going to be able to get out of this somehow as a human race by, through technological advancements, but I don't know. I don't know if we are. So I don't know what the answer is to that. I don't, not suggesting some kind of Chinese one child. Philosophy, but that doesn't sound as stupid to [00:41:00] me now as it did when I was, you know, a kid.

Nat: I'm not, I'm not suggesting that at all, but I'm just, my controversial opinion is there's just too many people in the world and I don't see, I think it's quite a taboo subject to say that for some reason. We're all, why don't we do this? Why don't we do that? We're just too many people. So if we keep going like this, we're just going to take over the world and kill it.

Nat: Simple as that, but no one seems to talk about that. Everything's talking about like, you know, I suppose that's baked into sustainability and can we become sustainable, but yeah, I don't know. I don't know what the answer is, but I think that's, that's one of the big problems we've got. 

Chris: Okay. This is your final question.

Chris: So can you share a challenge or personal goal that you're currently working 

Nat: on? The challenge for me at the moment is just to find. A right balance in my lifestyle, I guess, if I can say that I as I said earlier, I spent a lot of time in my corporate career of now step [00:42:00] back from that full time been traveling whilst doing some of that on a consultancy basis and other bits and pieces, but.

Nat: It's trying to find the balance and what to do, what to do next. I mean, this podcast is obviously something that I've picked up that, you know, enjoy doing so far, hopefully do more of that, get better at it. I've got some other ideas, anything that I'm learning, personal growth, trying to find ways to help other people.

Nat: I think that's going to be the right direction, but I've just got to kind of, it's almost like rebuilding my life. The last 18 months have. Have been great traveling around, but you know, the honeymoon does wear off. You lack a bit of focus and a bit of you know, a bit of drive. And I think it's, for me, it's time to find that in relation to whatever it is.

Nat: So I'm looking forward to looking forward to finding that probably over the next sort of six months to a year as target a [00:43:00] bit of a change in lifestyle. Thank you, 

Chris: that's you done on the rapid fire question. So nice chatting to you Nat and getting to know you a bit and look forward to having more conversations on other 

Nat: episodes.

Nat: Just looking forward to the conversations we're going to have on these podcasts and like looking forward to speaking to you more on topics that crop up. So yeah, thanks for, thanks for having me on the podcast.

Chris: Hey, it's Chris here from Adventure Solos, where we help people in their thirties, forties and fifties to rediscover themselves and meet new people. If you'd like to find out more about Adventure Solos events, visit https://www.AdventureSolos.com/, that's https://www.AdventureSolos.com/, where you're very welcome to stay in touch by joining the mailing list.

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